


standing in the place of you and me

by diors



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 06:32:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11121798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diors/pseuds/diors
Summary: “I love you.”Changkyun’s low chuckle cuts through the night, mixing in with the sound of distinct yelling from outside. “That’s not a secret.”





	standing in the place of you and me

(Said in the late night hours, bedroom window open to let the summer air in, the city alive with traffic and music from the clubs downtown; Minhyuk’s eyes closed, his breathing even, on the edge of falling asleep.)

“Can I tell you a secret?”

Minhyuk’s voice is a low murmur, their bodies pressed together, too hot, but neither want to move away.

“I love you.”

Changkyun’s low chuckle cuts through the night, mixing in with the sound of distinct yelling from outside. “That’s not a secret.”

Changkyun realizes again that, when Minhyuk opens his eyes and smiles at him, he’s always shone the brightest. “Oops,” Minhyuk’s giggling through his answer and their hands find each other in the dark.

 

 

 

 

(Asked two years into their relationship, legs tangled together on their too-small couch, always making plans to buy a new one, never having the heart to throw their current one away, the TV playing reruns of a drama both of them have already seen, Minhyuk’s face hidden in Changkyun’s neck while his fingers draw random patterns on Changkyun’s thigh, his quiet voice overlapping with the love declaration of one of the actors in the series.)

“Will you marry me?”

 

 

 

 

“I’m fine,” Changkyun says to Kihyun’s unasked question. Changkyun had asked to meet up at the coffee shop down their street, couldn’t handle being in the same apartment with Minhyuk while the older was there and yet...wasn’t.

Kihyun musters him, plays with the straw of his iced coffee. “You’re not,” he eventually says and Changkyun doesn’t have the heart to protest. Kihyun is right, after all. “How is he?”

Changkyun shrugs. “I think he was on the phone to Jooheon when I left.” He tries not to let the bitterness seep into his voice, but Kihyun’s always been the best at reading him.

“And how are you?” Kihyun’s voice is quiet, unsure, almost as if he’s afraid of the answer.

Changkyun hesitates; the door of the shop opens and a gust of cold air blows in. “Getting by,” he says.

 

 

 

 

 

(Said by Changkyun after he’s turned and straddled Minhyuk’s thighs, pressing their foreheads together, a smile already pulling at his lips, a low murmur right before their lips touch.)

“Yes, I’ll marry you.”

 

 

 

 

(Said one week after the accident, in the too-white halls of the hospital, while the nurses bustled around him, and he tried not to have a panic attack.)

“Kihyun,” Changkyun breathes into the phone, hand gripping it so tightly he fears he might break it, voice raw and weak, on the verge of cracking. “He woke up. But he doesn’t remember me.”

 

 

 

 

(Day of the accident, after Changkyun’s been at work for an hour, random number displayed on his phone screen.)

“Am I speaking to Lim Changkyun?”

Changkyun swallows, an uneasy feeling already forming in his gut.

“Yes,” he replies. “Who is this?”

The woman’s voice answers, “This is the Hangang Sacred Heart Hospital. It’s about your husband, Lee Minhyuk. He’s been in a car accident and is in critical condition.”

 

 

 

 

 

Minhyuk remembered everything of his life before he went off to college. Remembered everything but the past six years. Remembered Hyunwoo and Jooheon, his friends from high school. Didn’t remember Changkyun.

 

 

 

 

 

“Hey.”

They’ve made progress, Changkyun thinks. Minhyuk has opened up more and they talk regularly; not about the accident, not what they are or  _ were _ , never about them.

Changkyun lets the door fall shut and drops his keys into the bowl on the cupboard to his left. “Hi,” he tries a weak smile but seeing Minhyuk sitting on their couch, the one with the colorful pillows and knitted blanket, the one where they were sitting when Minhyuk proposed－and seeing Minhyuk stay sitting there, not getting up to greet Changkyun with a kiss like he’d always done, like he would’ve done before the accident－it still hurts.

“Are you hungry?” he asks to distract himself, walking into the kitchen. He can’t stand seeing Minhyuk look at him and  _ not _ remember him.

“A little.” Minhyuk follows him into the kitchen. He’s fidgeting with his fingers. “How was work?”

Changkyun closes the fridge. “Good,” he says, then looks for the take-out menus in their drawers.

“How about ramen?” Minhyuk asks and Changkyun looks up at him, sees the small smile Minhyuk’s sending him. It’s not enough, but it’s a start.

Changkyun closes the drawer. “Sounds good,” he says, and smiles.

 

 

 

 

 

(Said four months after the accident, after one too many sleepless nights, knowing Minhyuk was in the apartment but in the guest bedroom, knowing Minhyuk would probably never remember their time together, would never sleep next to him again.)

“I’m tired.” Changkyun’s voice cracks at the end. He rubs a hand down his face, blinks the tears pooling in his eyes away. “I－I can’t do this, I－” He takes a shuddering breath. His hands are shaking and he sees Kihyun out of the corner of his eyes, sees him moving towards him. He feels the arm around his shoulder and sinks into it. “I can’t do this anymore.” Whispering these words which have plagued him for months now makes him hate himself, makes him feel inadequate and weak, makes him think  _ I’m supposed to be strong, I’m supposed to take care of Minhyuk, my husband. _

Hyunwoo’s voice is quiet, but firm. “He can live with us, if that’s better for you.”

Changkyun’s  _ please _ is muffled by Kihyun’s shirt, the tears now freely falling.

 

 

 

 

(Said on the day Minhyuk moved out.)

“Can I still visit you?”

Changkyun glances up in surprise, notices the light flush creeping up Minhyuk’s neck, the hand running through his hair. He ignores the heavy feeling in his gut, ignores the boxes littering in the hallway. “Yeah,” he says.

 

 

 

 

 

“We were married.”

(Said two months after Minhyuk moved out to live with Hyunwoo and Kihyun, on the rooftop of their building, staring up at the stars.)

Changkyun doesn’t correct him, doesn’t say  _ we’re still married,  _ doesn’t say  _ please remember,  _ doesn’t ask  _ could you love me again? _

Quietly, he says, “Yeah.”

Minhyuk relaxes back in the lawn chair, head still tilted back to look at the night sky. He was the one who’d shown up earlier in the evening, had said he took a walk and his legs took him here on their own, had asked Changkyun to show him the roof. What Minhyuk doesn’t remember is that they’d spent almost every one of their anniversaries up on this roof, talking about nothing and everything, wine mingling with their breaths as they shared kisses and secrets and laughter.

“How did we meet?” Minhyuk asks.

Changkyun swallows. “College,” he says, his mind immediately taking him back to their first encounter. “You worked at a coffee shop at that time. I went in there one day to take shelter from the rain and I was drenched and you－” His heart squeezes painfully. “You made me a hot chocolate on the house,” he murmurs. “Gave me your hoodie because you didn’t want me to get sick. Gave me your umbrella when I was about to leave and said I could give it back to you on our first date.” He laughs quietly, staring down at his feet. “That’s how you asked me out.”

Minhyuk is silent next to him. “Sometimes,” he whispers. “Sometimes I wish we would’ve met in high school.”

 

 

 

 

 

(Said two days before their first date, on a rainy Wednesday afternoon, with a familiar song playing over the speakers while Changkyun stares wide-eyed at Minhyuk.)

“Let me take you out,” Minhyuk says, grinning brightly. “Friday evening. How about it?”

Changkyun blinks, gripping the umbrella which Minhyuk had given him tightly, the sleeves of Minhyuk’s hoodie falling over his hands. “Okay,” he says, a smile forming on his face. He ignores the heat in his cheeks, ignores everything around him but the blond-haired barista in front of him who he’d just met but whose smile shines like the sun and makes Changkyun’s heart beat faster.

“Okay,” he says again, smiling even wider when Minhyuk’s grin gets bigger. “Let me give you my number.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I’m fine,” Changkyun says into the phone, glancing around the apartment. “Don’t worry about me. I’m just cleaning the apartment, that’s why I couldn’t reply to your texts.”

Kihyun scoffs over the line. “For two days?”

“I’ve been cleaning－” Changkyun trails off, staring at the various boxes strewn around the living room and kitchen. “Everything.”

“Well, okay,” Kihyun says. “Do you need help?”

“No, thanks,” Changkyun replies absently. He’s staring at the picture frames in the living room, eyes stuck on the photo of his and Minhyuk’s wedding day. Minhyuk had stolen Kihyun’s camera and had taken Changkyun by surprise when he grabbed the collar of his suit and dragged him into a kiss. Both were smiling, too happy and excited due to the events of the day, and to this day, it remained Changkyun’s favorite photo of them.

He tears his gaze away, staring at the empty place in front of the coffee table where his couch used to be. “Hey, hyung, do you think you could take tomorrow off work? I know it’s late notice.”

Kihyun hums. “I think I can do that. Why?”

Changkyun bites down on his lip. “I just ordered new furniture and need some help getting it up the stairs.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Is this photo new?” Changkyun stops in front of the picture wall Kihyun and Hyunwoo got in their apartment. The picture shows Hyunwoo with their son on a picnic blanket in the park, holding his arms out with a bright smile on his face, while the little boy tried to walk towards his father.

“Huh?” Kihyun follows his line of sight, then smiles fondly. “Yeah, I took it when he first started to walk.”

“Adorable,” Changkyun grins, nudging their shoulders together.

Kihyun rolls his eyes, still smiling and walks into the living room. “By the way,” he says when Changkyun follows him. He sends him a careful look. “Minhyuk got a job.”

“Oh?” Changkyun raises his eyebrows. “Where?”

“Remember the old coffee shop down the street from the university’s science building?” Kihyun asks.

Changkyun swallows. For him, it wasn’t the coffee shop near the university. For him, it was the coffee shop where he’d met Minhyuk.

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Well, they changed it into a bar,” Kihyun says. “Minhyuk works there most nights. Hoseok got him the job.”

“That’s good for him,” Changkyun says slowly, trying for a small smile.

Kihyun’s watching him. “Yeah?”

Changkyun nods, his heart suddenly feeling too heavy in his chest. “Yeah.”

 

 

 

 

“I don’t remember anything.”

(Said one year after the accident, six months after Minhyuk got his own apartment, Changkyun sitting at the bar after Hoseok had asked him to come over, only to find Minhyuk there, the afternoon sun shining through the windows.)

“But,” Minhyuk looks up from where he’d been cleaning the same glass for the third time now. He’s biting his lip, red and raw. “But I think I love you.”

Changkyun stares at him, his nails digging into his thigh.

“When I’m with you,” Minhyuk starts slowly, words coming out careful and rehearsed. “I feel at home. And I know I don’t remember anything from our life together, but,” he takes a deep breath, locks his gaze with Changkyun’s. “It’d be nice if we could make new memories. Memories which I’ll remember.”

“So, Changkyun,” Minhyuk laughs quietly, voice wavering slightly. “This will sound weird because we’ve been married for three years now?” He tilts his head, scrunching up his nose in confusion.

Changkyun bites back a smile. “Three years, yeah,” he murmurs, afraid his voice will fail him if he speaks louder.

“Three years,” Minhyuk repeats, a soft smile on his face. “Okay. If you want to－” He breaks himself off and pulls his lower lip between his teeth. “I wanna get to know you,” he starts. “A new beginning and all. Let me take you out.”

Changkyun blinks, his heart hammering wildly in his chest. “Okay,” he whispers. His fingers relax on his thigh. “Okay,” he repeats, louder, and Minhyuk perks up. “Friday evening?” he asks and Minhyuk’s answering smile－bright, beautiful, familiar－is enough.


End file.
